We return to the great French journalist, humorist and nonpareil, Alphonse Allais.  I remind you that my translations of his Captain Cap stories, Captain Cap Volumes 1 and 2, are available from Black Scat Books; and that further installments are scheduled for July and August.  A collection of his immortal mockery of the reactionary critic Francisque Sarcey is also slated for June.

Allais sometimes appended a brief “Petite Correspondance” to his column.  It permitted responses to real and fictional correspondents, extra jokes, addenda to previous columns, running gags, plugs for his books, and other odds and ends.  Here is a sampling, taken from Le Journal, 1895-1897.

I received numerous contributions intended for the Franco-Lapp Society, to draw cyclists up the slopes with reindeer.  Unfortunately, due to an accounting error, the sums received were used in large part to pay for the cold drinks that I had to consume last week.  The remainder was put into the hands of an umbrella seller in Le Havre, a city in which I was surprised by a sudden storm.  A thousand pardons. 

M. Jules Renard, the author of Natural Histories:  Like you, I adore cats, and have proven it.  But I do not share your opinion on these exquisite beings’ romantic discretion.  When they are in love, they cry it from the rooftops.

To some compassionate souls:  Many thanks for the sympathy you have expressed for the son of my former concierge.  The poor lad has finally found a position.  He is employed in the thoroughly artistic atelier of M. Rochas, a photographer in Blois, where he has had the good fortune to encounter photographic plates even more sensitive than himself.

Mme. la Marquise de B., in Compiègne:  No, a thousand times no!  If you go out in the street in a diving-suit, do not take an umbrella; you will make yourself conspicuous.

M. Paul Escudier, municipal counselor in Paris:  I received your thirty francs, but basic honesty compels me to inform you that I am no longer a voter in the Saint-Georges district.  M. Bompard, for whom, here, I promise to vote, will be glad to reimburse you.

Mademoiselle Nina Pack, of the Opéra-Comique:  You are charming, miss, but your anthropological conclusions are somewhat frivolous.  There is no reason, because a man is of normal height, to assume that he is the son of a dwarf and a giantess.

R. C. of the Vésinet:  The story to which you refer, in my book 2 + 2 = 5, originally appeared in Le Chat Noir, whereas the cabaret song in question is from last year.  It is therefore your friend who is an imbecile and a thief.

M. Léon Gandillot, in Paris:  You have not been deceived, sir; cats that eat flies never grow fat.  Nor tigers!  Especially if they eat nothing else.

In the past few months, I have received a recrudescence of letters, full of cordiality, but a bit familiar, in which I am addressed as “My dear Alphonse”; some even go so far as to call me “pal.”  I warn these ladies and gentlemen that, in the future, I will only open correspondence that treats me with respect.

To some readers:  Absolutely!
To others:  Not on your life!

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

Today is Shakespeare’s birthday, maybe; the exact date is uncertain.  But it’s a good uncertain date to appreciate that Stratfordian ullage, Shakespeare’s apocrypha.

Although the canonical plays have long inspired artists, the apocrypha have been largely unillustrated.  Many of them are perfectly fine plays, but suffer that curious stigma of being once ascribed but now rejected.

Fortunately, a staunch Victorian edition, The Pictorial Edition of the Works of Shakespere, gave space to the doubtful and attributed plays, and supplied characteristic engravings.  Note the spelling “Shakespere”: fashions change.  Pericles, The Two Noble Kinsmen, and Titus Andronicus were classed as doubtful in this collection; perhaps future scholars, using criteria now unthinkable to us, will smile upon The Merry Devil of Edmonton.

Fourteen of the apocryphal plays were illustrated; here are seven:

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

For our 200th example of that curious, under the radar, often anonymous graphic genre, the children’s card game, please contemplate “Choice Thoughts by Longfellow,” an 1890 offering from Milton Bradley.  The player collects sets of five (a title and four quotations from a poem), as well as a binding card that affects the scoring.  I’ve chosen Longfellow’s sublimely silly poem “Excelsior,” a favorite of mine.

And here’s the colorful box.  What a nice house for choice thoughts!

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

(Posted by Doug Skinner.  The illustration is from Safe Counsel, by B. G. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols, 1928.)

Our final gallery of caricatures begins with one by André Rouveyre.

Jean Veber, who drew a number of portraits of Allais, chose to portray him as a horse in this sketch.  At least, I think that’s a horse.

The playwright Sacha Guitry, who had the unfortunate experience of trying to write a play with Allais, made this sketch:

As well as this one.

And, to finish off, another cover by Siné.

And let me remind you that my illustrated translations of Allais, Captain Cap Volume 1 and Volume 2, are available from Black Scat Books.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

I didn’t know that the Illinois State Department of Health issued cartoons; this one is striking.  I found it in a 1928 book called Safe Counsel, by B. G. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols.  Don’t be like this man!

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

Georges Lorin made this sketch of Allais sometime in the ’90s.

Jean Veber added to his gallery of Allais caricatures, with a portrait of Allais in the costume he proposed for the members of the Académie Française.

Jean Villemot drew this curious portrait for the cover of Le Sourire.

An anonymous silhouette, from a country fair.

And, just to get my two cents in, my drawing of Allais, Captain Cap, and a potato, from Captain Cap, Volume 2.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

The new pope, Francis, has enjoyed extensive press coverage, but it must be pointed out that he is not the only one in the game.  This flyer was handed to me today, presumably by the other pope herself.  I wish her well; it’s not an easy job, and Francis has a head start.  (Please click for legibility.)

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

Today is April 1, a day sanctified by the extraordinary French humorist Alphonse Allais; and I am happy to announce that it brings the release of Captain Cap, Volume 2.

Allais’s stories of his absurd anti-hero, first published in 1902, have been meticulously translated and illustrated by Doug Skinner, in the second volume of a set of four.  This volume contains 15 stories and 17 illustrations, and is published in an edition of 125 by Black Scat Books.

The first volume recorded the real life Cap, Albert Caperon, and his tumultuous foray into politics.  The second is devoted to his fictional exploits, as he boasts of his dubious accomplishments, insults his friends, bullies bartenders, and consumes many elaborate cocktails.  You’ll learn the disgusting history of Meat-Land, the origin of polar bears, Cap’s plans for interstellar communication and recycled confetti, his unconvincing experiments with hypnotism, and, of course, all about the apparent symbiosis between the boa and giraffe.

Buy a copy today!  Memorize passages!  Color in the pictures!  And if you see me, I’ll be glad to sign it with the name of your choice.  You can order it from Black Scat Books.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

“Jodete” was published by Nupro Games, in Buenos Aires.  According to my dictionary, “jodete” means “get lost,” “deal with it,” and other saltier expressions, which I suppose fosters competition.  There are 110 cards, and the objective seems to be to gain 600 points.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)