“Hitler” has now become a routine term of abuse for anyone who disagrees with you.  Christians claim he was an atheist; atheists claim he was a Christian.  Carnivores claim he was a vegetarian; vegetarians claim he was a carnivore.  He’s obviously not being invoked as a real person, who did real and awful things, but as a catch-all “bad guy.”  Rather than trivialize Hitler for the sake of a cheap ad hominem attack, I suggest using some two-dimensional villain from popular culture instead: Sherlock Holmes’s nemesis, Professor Moriarty; or Superman’s enemy, Lex Luthor; or the Skillery Scallery Alligator that was always chasing Uncle Wiggily.  It would be refreshing to hear a politician say, “Your beliefs aren’t the same as mine!  You’re just like the Big Bad Wolf!  You’re Fu Manchu!”

I’d like to hear a piece that Bela
Bartok wrote for vuvuzela.

blankety-blank blanket

The apple never falls far from the snake.

The octopus is named for the number of its tentacles, not for its unusual intelligence.

I gave my love a cherry that had no stone; she gave me a stone that had no cherry. Now what?

What’s wrong with “playing God”? I thought you were so keen on him.

stirring a screwdriver with a screwdriver

Many NYC subway cars are now equipped with pricey gizmos that announce and display the next stop. Since the trains are often re-routed, and the gizmos are not reprogrammed, the information is often wrong.

I’m glad the walls don’t have ears; that would be creepy.

My parents went to El Dorado,
And brought me back this avocado.

(Posted by Doug Skinner. Lang Campbell drew the Skillery Scallery.)

Our latest event attracted a small but Utopian audience.  Brooklyn was apparently a cornucopia of other forms of fun that weekend; still, a nice bunch gathered for a taste of an ideal society.

Doug began by talking about Utopias as unattainable ideals; and segued into a picture story on the subject, “The Glorious Town.”  He then read a short piece on the Order of Judas Iscariot: a fictional (but plausible) society that influenced the US’s development as a Christian nation based on Judas (enrichment at others’ expense), rather than Jesus (repudiation of wealth).

Lisa followed with a biographical talk on the artistic and scientific polymaths Walter and Lao Russell, embellished with many beautiful (but puzzling) diagrams by the former, and a filmed interview with the latter.

During the intermission the audience examined rare Russell publications, turned play money into legal tender with the magic formulas of the Order of Judas, stocked up on stylish Ullage Group pinbacks, and ullaged their drinks.

Anthony closed with a history of the Oneida Community, the scandal-ridden but influential experiment in communal living and perfectionism from 19th century New York.  This was illustrated with many historical photos, and Anthony’s stereo slides of the headquarters today.

The congregation then wandered off, except for those of us who went out for Chinese food.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

The Ullage Group proudly, but earnestly, announces its ninth presentation, “Marching to Utopia.”  We will acquaint you with a few schemes for the betterment of mankind.

Step out of your cold, mechanistic, and meaningless universe, and go back to school with Lisa Hirschfield, your tour guide at the University of Science and Philosophy.  Far more than a philosophy (and science as we’ve never known it), the USP promised to settle the age-old dispute between science and religion once and for all.  Explore space, time, love, and the Oneness of all, as revealed to Walter and Lao Russell, the USP’s evangelists.

Anthony Matt will discuss the rise and fall of the Oneida Community, which prospered for forty years during the mid-nineteenth century in upstate New York.  The community was founded on a curious form of free love and eventually dissolved into a silverware company.

Doug Skinner will talk about the legendary Order of Judas Iscariot, a small but influential fraternal organization that affected the early development of the American experiment.

We will hold forth at the Jalopy Theater, 315 Columbia St., Brooklyn, NY; on Sunday, Sept. 26 at 3 pm.  Admission is only $5.  Directions to Jalopy can be found here.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

I’ve avoided the many children’s card games that tie into toys and other franchises — simply because the graphics must, by definition, follow the pattern established by the franchise, offering little elbow room for the designer.  The “Jellibee Card Game,” however, is such an odd creation, both graphically and conceptually, that it has earned a place here.  It was published by Edu-Cards in 1975; and was based on a sewing kit with which you made things like “Jimmy Jellibee.”  Curious.

(Posted by Doug Skinner.)

(f)utility

A broom’s a useful thing, no doubt of it:
It cleans a room, and then flies out of it.

“Empiric” is an interesting word: it means both “charlatan” and “based on observation and experience.” Embedded in the language is the dogma that only theory and system can validate.

No, you don’t bolster your machismo
When you acquire the latest gizmo.

gibberish about licorice

I’ll pass on those loaves and fishes, Jesus; dirty hands breed food-borne illnesses (cf. Mark 7: 1-8).

We can move in several directions through space, but only in one through time; what’s the point of that?

The ancients saw the births of monsters as portents of disasters. The advent of deep-fried butter, doughnut hamburgers, and chocolate-covered bacon must be an evil omen.

We’ve even managed to monetize monetization: people are paid to determine the “value” of services and commodities.

Even as a child, I didn’t understand why I was told that natural laws were evidence of divinity; and that deviations from natural law were miracles, which were also evidence of divinity.

I didn’t shave; and so my stubble
Will burst that effervescent bubble.

(Posted by Doug Skinner.  The sketch is by Thackeray.)

We have another look at the fine old game of “Authors,” here in an undated deck from Russell.  I particularly like that ribbon.  Has anyone out there read this one?

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

…that you can make coffee at home?  You don’t have to buy it at a cafe or doughnut shop!  Many grocery stores sell cans of roasted, ground coffee “beans.”  This black powder is not good to eat; but, if you spoon some into a paper filter and pour boiling water over it, you will get coffee just like the kind that you buy in cafes.  In fact, that’s how they make it themselves!  You may even find that the coffee that you make is fresher and less expensive.  One word of caution: don’t forget to place a cup under the filter to collect the coffee.  Otherwise, it will spill all over your floor: and nobody likes an untidy kitchen.

…that you are not the center of the universe?  It may seem that way, because you can see things all around you, no matter which way you turn.  But this is just an optical illusion: you can only be in one place at a time, and you will see things all around you wherever you are.  In fact, other people see things that way too, and they’re not all the center of the universe, are they?  You see, the universe is very large and sprawling, and doesn’t really have a center.  You can still insist that it can have a subjective center, and behave as if you were in that important position, but then nobody will want to be your friend.

…that you can purchase things with cash?  Our federal government, in Washington, D.C., issues bills and coins that can be used just like a credit or debit card.  Some people even prefer them, because you can use them without paying fees or interest.  They have also been decorated by professional artists, with portraits of politicians, religious mottoes, pictures of eagles and pyramids, and other comical designs that you can look at while waiting in line at the checkout counter.  Remember, though, that if you pay with cash, the cashier keeps the coins and bills, and you cannot have them back.  But don’t be upset: you can always get more.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)

On July 28th, members of the Ullage Group took a field trip to Bannerman Castle, organized by Dr. Mamie Caton.

For train passengers, a partial and too-brief view of Bannerman Castle can be had just south of Beacon, NY.  The castle is situated on a small island once called Pollepel (renamed Bannerman’s Island), now part of the Hudson Highlands State Park.

“Bannerman’s Island Arsenal” – as giant, crumbling letters on north wall of the building proclaim – was built in 1900 by Francis Bannerman, a dealer in military surplus. The dealership was a family operation that lasted several generations, perhaps because he took the savvy long view in matters of war and peace.  When the War Department found itself unable to equip properly the volunteers who came to the country’s defense (capturing Puerto Rico in the process), the Bannermans were there: selling the surplus Civil War guns and ordnance it had purchased 30 years prior back to the US Government.

The Spanish-American War provided additional business opportunities. Not only did the company buy arms from the Spanish before they left Cuba, it purchased nearly all captured Spanish military goods from the U.S. Government once the war was over. Francis Bannerman began construction on his arsenal when his New York City storeroom could no longer contain his ever-growing stock of guns, cannon, uniforms, crossbows, bayonets, and artillery – including 30 million munitions cartridges.

Bannerman & Sons operated on an international scale, marketing their goods to foreign War Departments as perceived need (or the perceived possibility of need) arose. As Peace reared her unprofitable head and opportunities for wartime deployment of outdated weapons dwindled, Bannerman’s business survived: his goods served double-duty as fashionable antiques for the discerning collector, interior designers favoring the “martial look,” museums, paramilitary and historical organizations, as well as theatrical productions, including Buffalo Bill’s show.  He also operated his own military museum on lower Broadway in Manhattan.

From the 1927 catalogue
           

[Read more →]

“The Cheerful Game of Porky the Pig” was one of three games in the set “Children’s Hour,” a 1946 offering from Parker Brothers.  The others were “Peanut the Elephant” and “ABC Fishing.”

Porky had no connection with the familiar character from Warner Brothers; I suspect there were numerous pigs called Porky over the years.  The deck featured a variety of animals and objects, all chosen to encourage the players to make noise.  Noise is fun; I like the crisp black, yellow, and red color scheme too.

(Posted by Doug Skinner.)

 .

Why shouldn’t a frog fall from the sky?  Does it have something better to do?

divested of vistas

It isn’t wise to buy or sell a
Lot of eggs with salmonella.

The artist sees art as the true business of life. The audience sees art as a diversion from the true business of life. There will be misunderstandings.

another newscaster slip: “leaphole” for “loophole”

Why does my phone have a camera, but no can-opener?

Animals don’t really have a kingdom, and aren’t really organized on a tree: those are human filing systems. Visualizing them with a different model — a series of interlocking rings, for example — is a quick way to rinse out your beliefs.

Don’t eat that shiny sheet of mica!
It’s not a food! Do you have pica?

Her entrance did not entrance us.

I said, “A word to the wise is –“; oh, skip it.

I can’t build castles in the air;
I have to wash my underwear.

(Posted by Doug Skinner.  The sketch is by Thackeray.)