Today I heard a newscaster slip up, and call a “retired admiral” a “retired animal.”

The pigeon’s not a welcome bird
When it’s in my vicinity.
I understand it forms a third
Of something called the Trinity.

robots in rowboats

I saw a children’s book called You Can Drive an Automobile. I want the children to be happy; but shouldn’t they be discouraged from driving?

If you sing about your feelings,
I will throw potato peelings.

Do maggots see flies as angels?

When Cupid reaches for his quiver,
Shiver, little children, shiver.

The other day, I was drinking coffee at a sidewalk cafe, when a man came out to tell me that he’d taken my picture. “There’s a bullet hole in the window,” he explained, “so from the inside it looks like you have a bullet hole in your head. Pretty neat, huh?”

My hand shadows aren’t supposed to look like animals; they’re supposed to look like my hands.

Take more on, moron.

So follow, if you must, your star:
Remember, though, it’s very far.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)