There is no God, I’m glad to say:
Hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray!

What, exactly, do people get out of watching an eating contest?

Life can be so very painful
When employment isn’t gainful.

Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words add insult to injury.

When I was a teen, my father tried to interest me in chess. I didn’t like it, particularly; and mentioned I found Bobby Fischer creepy when he said, “I like to watch them squirm.” “Oh,” my father said, “he probably meant the abstract movements of the chess pieces.”

stakeholders / snake-handlers

Maybe those bees would like these posies.

It’s not that I dislike holidays in themselves; I just think it’s strange when everyone does the same thing at the same time.

There has been some talk of a Reagan monument on the mall in D.C. I propose a large inflatable head, tethered above the Reflecting Pool, gazing at itself.

Of course, in this country, we think that baseball is for adults, and books are for children.

It’s not true that all is vanity:
Let’s not overlook insanity.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)