Get busy, scientists!  Count those stars!

Recently, an elderly woman approached me at a market in upstate New York to upbraid me for wearing black.  “You must admit that it’s unusual,” she snapped.  I tried to tell her that it wasn’t, really, but it was no use: obviously, she knew better.

A little wine will soothe the colic;
Too much will make you alcoholic.

A picture is worth a thousand bucks.

Don’t piss on the sidewalk!  Put that back!

Which came first, the chicken or the salmonella?

Some people sneer that the only tangible result of our space program was the instant drink Tang.  This is unfair: the space program did not develop Tang.

Is Popeye a pop icon?

Make a Gideon Bible with a soundchip, so that it plays something when opened: “Happy Birthday,” for example.

The Sphinx lost her nose from syphilis.

Here’s a spoon, round as the moon;
Here’s a fork, light as a cork;
Here’s a knife, straight as a fife;
Here’s a plate, flat as a grate;
And here’s lunch.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)