A fly’s on my icewater; hand me my flyswatter.

Most people don’t mean well; they mean nothing at all.

Make a Gideon Bible that just says “Gideon,” over and over, on every page.

A fox spied a crow with a morsel of cheese in his beak.  The fox praised the crow’s voice, but the crow easily saw through this ruse.  The fox farted; and the crow laughed, dropping the cheese to the fox below.  MORAL: it is unwise to listen to flatulence.

The universe is expanding: that’s why the fossils of prehistoric animals are so large.

Jesus died upon the cross,
In excruciating pain.
His loss,
Our gain.

It’s not fair to say that politics is show business for ugly people; actors are ugly too, in their own way.

Paul is deaf.

The passing clouds mock the sky’s stasis and purity.

I always enjoy hearing a newscaster, covering a court case, say “co-dependent” instead of “co-defendant.”

You can keep your Sistine Chapel; I would rather have an apple.

(Posted by Doug Skinner)